Some questions can only be answered in silence.
Silence is the goal of all answers.
If an answer does not silence the mind,
it is no answer.

Why do you love someone? Is it because of their qualities or because of a sense of kinship or intimacy?

You can love someone for their qualities and not feel a sense of kinship. This type of love gives rise to competition and jealousy. Such is not the case when love arises out of kinship.

If you love someone for their qualities, when the qualities change or you get accustomed to their qualities, your love also changes. However, if you love someone out of kinship, because they belong to you, then that love remains for lifetimes.

“Why do so many people have no love for themselves?”

No. It is just the opposite. They love themselves so much that they want better qualities for themselves. They want to appear better than they think they are. This love of qualities makes them hard on themselves.

If love is based on the qualities of a person, that love is not stable. After some time, the qualities change and the love becomes shaky. Loving someone because of their greatness or uniqueness is third-rate love. Loving someone because they belong to you, great or otherwise, is unconditional love.

There are three kinds of love: the love that comes out of charm, the love that comes out of comfort, and Divine love.

The love that comes out of charm does not last long. It comes out of unfamiliarity or out of attraction. In this love, you lose attraction quickly, and boredom sets in, like most love marriages. This love may diminish and bring along with it fear, uncertainty, insecurity and sadness.

The love that comes out of comfort and familiarity grows. You are more comfortable with an old friend who is a familiar person, rather than with a new person. But this love has no thrill, no enthusiasm, no joy or fire in it.

Divine love supersedes all other love. Divine love is always new and the closer you get, the more charm and depth you experience. Divine love brings comfort, familiarity and enthusiasm. There is never boredom, and it keeps you alert and aware.

Worldly love can be like an ocean, yet an ocean has a bottom. Divine love is like the sky — limitless, infinite. From the bottom of the ocean, soar into the vast sky.

When there is so much love, you take total responsibility for any
misunderstanding. You may express dismay for a moment on the surface.
But when you do not feel that in your heart, you arrive at a perfect
understanding. You are in a state where all problems and differences
slide away and only love shines through.

Usually we get stuck in our differences, because we have lost sight of
ourselves. In the name of love we try to manipulate and control the
other person. This is natural that when we love somebody, we want them
to be perfect.

You can never see the pits in the ground from the top of a hill. From
a plane the earth looks so smooth. So also from a state of elevated
consciousness, you do not see the pitfalls in others. But if you come
to the ground you always see the holes. And when you want to fill the
holes, you have to see them. You cannot build a home being airborne.
You cannot till the land without looking at the pits, filling them,
removing the pebbles....

That is why when you love somebody you find all the faults in them.
But finding faults destroys love. Instead of filling the pits we run
away from them. When you love somebody and see their faults, stay with
them and help them fill the pits. This is wisdom.